Retro My Colon Is Being Dramatic Graphic

Create a cute retro chronic illness graphic featuring an adorable cartoon colon throwing an exaggerated tantrum, tiny arms crossed, little angry face, scattered sparkles and stars. Add the exact text “MY COLON IS BEING DRAMATIC” in chunky imperfect retro typography. Use dusty lavender, muted coral, butter yellow, faded teal, and cream with dark brown outlines. Playful 70s vintage illustration, slightly distressed texture, clean isolated composition, transparent background, no mockup.